Do you ever get irritated by people who try to persuade you that their way of doing things is so much better than yours? They are so sure of themselves, so condescending. How do we handle such individuals, particularly if they're related to us?
His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama says, “Whether we utilize our intelligence in the right way or the wrong way is up to us. Nobody can impose their values on us. How can we learn to use our capacity constructively? First we need to recognize our nature and then, if we have the determination, there is a real possibility of transforming the human heart.”
But whose heart needs transforming, ours or that of the pushy person? In light of the teachings of the Embodiment of Compassion, the answer is simple.
“For change to happen in any community, the initiative must come from the individual. If the individual can become a good, calm, peaceful person, this automatically brings a positive atmosphere to the family around him or her. When parents are warm-hearted, peaceful and calm people, generally speaking their children will also develop that attitude and behavior.”
Therefore, no matter what kind of offensive behaviors surround us, it is up to us to use our innate intelligence to cope. We can either step away from the disruption or learn how to let it wash over us without any effect.
“The way our attitude works is such that it is often troubled by outside factors, so one side of the issue is to eliminate the existence of trouble around you,” His Holiness proposes.
For example, you really could change you work place if it truly is causing you too much stress. Dalai Lama teaches, “The environment, meaning the surrounding situation, is a very important factor for establishing a happy frame of mind. However, even more important is the other side of the issue, which is one’s own mental attitude.”
If one is strong enough to maintain a positive and healthy mental attitude, the results can be surprisingly beneficial to everyone concerned.
Having withstood years of calumny by the Chinese government who still refer to him as a “separatist” and who continue to persecute the people of Tibet, His Holiness continues to teach non-violence and respect towards all.
Meanwhile, he observes, “The surrounding situation may not be so friendly; it may even be hostile, but if your inner mental attitude is right, then the situation will not disturb your inner peace. On the other hand, if your attitude is not right, then even if you are surrounded by good friends and the best facilities, you cannot be happy. This is why mental attitude is more important than external conditions. Despite this, it seems to me that many people are more concerned about their external conditions, and neglect the inner attitude of the mind. I suggest that we should pay more attention to our inner qualities.”
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