Sai Baba on Asking For Help

(A short Essay)

The Omnipresent Sai Baba of Puttaparthi promised that he would protect those who called on him.

He said, “Ask me, when you need any help.  Extend your hand only for Grace from God.  Ask Grace as a right, not in a groveling style.  Ask as a child asks the father; feel that God is nearest and dearest.”

I used to think asking God for help showed that I had not completely surrendered to his will.  But there was some thing I lost that I could not get back. A long time ago, someone I loved rejected me—my only daughter.  I was not sure why; I guessed it might be because of my spiritual beliefs. I accepted this as my karma.  

“Grace is showered on those who seek, “Swami Sai, my Guru, said. “Knock, and the door shall be opened; ask, and food will be served; search, and the treasure will be yours.  You may complain:  Yes!  Swami!  We have been knocking, asking and searching since years but, the door is yet unopened, the food is still not forthcoming, the treasure is still beyond our reach!”

This was definitely how I felt.  

“But let me tell you this,” The Beloved Lord of Puttaparthi said, “You have been asking the devil, not the deity, knocking at the devil’s door and digging for the treasure at the devil’s realm.  The devil’s realm is the object world, outer nature.  She is a clever enchantress!  You have been propitiating her, believing that she can confer peace and Ananda!  She tantalizes you and leads you from one disappointment to another.  She enhances your ego and sense of achievement, until you collapse from a swollen head!  You are knocking at the wrong door—the door of hell which is ever open.  You are searching for paltry pleasure not permanent treasure!”

Had I been doing this? Bhagawan Baba, the ever-blissful, taught, “Don’t ask God for things in life, like a cup of tea which you can get easily.  Only ask for things that you need and that you can’t get by your own efforts.”

No matter how persistent my spiritual practice, some days I still feel I don’t know where to turn.  

 “When in difficulty, pray for guidance before jumping in any direction.  Men will give you advice only as far as their cleverness can reach; but the Lord who transforms dullness into intelligence will reveal to you the way out of the dilemma.  Ask the Lord and He will answer.”

 So, I continue my prayers, asking God for help. I do not beg or grovel.  But I ask for the Grace to see me through this problem.  For a mother to let go of her only daughter is not easy. My tears of loss had burned my cheeks for many years.

Then one day I realized though my daughter is my child, she, like all of us, belongs to God.  If she is his and I am his then we are together on a soul level, always. And by his Grace, we may one day be happy together again face-to-face.

Sai Baba on Ananda, Catch It If You Can

(A short Essay)

Of course you know what it is; otherwise you wouldn’t keep trying to catch it.  It’s that sense of delight we experience now and again, a freedom from ourselves, you might say.

According to Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, holding onto the sense of delight is important.  He says, “When the world melts away, when there is bliss, or even when there is a temporary feeling of happiness, hold to that state and stay with it, and do not allow yourself to fall back into ego emotions and thoughts.”

But what is the source of this bliss, this Ananda?  Where do we go to get it?  Sai Baba explains, “From man comes a series of spiritual rays whose quality is delight, bliss.  All man need do is to manifest that bliss.  The idea of search is in error. Everyone already knows the truth.  All that is needed is to put that truth into practice, to manifest it.”

So, the spiritual rays are already within us. “Pure bliss is the innate nature of man,” Puttaparthi Sai says. But why then aren’t we always feeling blissful?

The Beloved Guru gives an example, “The Lord’s name is like a mountain of sugar.  So long as the sugar is on the tongue you feel the sweetness in taste.  Similarly, so long as the heart has love, peace and devotion, you feel bliss.”

The realization that comes, after pondering this teaching, is that once love, peace and devotion are no longer in the heart, once hate, anger, jealousy, greed and fear, for example, push out the bliss-giving emotions, then the devotee has forgotten God.  The ego has taken over.  This is why Lord Sai repeatedly asks, “Why fear then I am here?”  If you maintain a sense of constant, integrated awareness of your connection with Omniscience, Omnipresence, and Omnipotence, at all times then you can hold on to the bliss.

Meanwhile, Bhagawan Baba warns that the acquisition of wealth and possessions should not be mistaken as the means to achieve bliss.  There is a difference between enjoying worldly comfort and enjoying inward bliss.  One does not need worldly comfort in order to experience Ananda.

“Man still believes that bliss can be got from the external world,” Sai Baba says.  “He hoards wealth, authority, fame and learning, in order to acquire happiness.  But he finds that they are all fraught with fear, anxiety and pain.  The millionaire is beset by the tax gatherer, the cheat, the donation hunter, the house breaker, and his sons and kinsmen who clamor for their share.  Happiness of material origins is short lived and has misery as its obverse.”

But no one can steal the bliss you are feeling when you watch the sun setting beyond the fields, or the moon rising above the distant mountains.  Catch those moments.  Hold onto them.  According to Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba, feeling such delight is what you were born to do.

Sai Baba on Actions

(A short Essay)

There I am, walking hurriedly to the bazaar, with a long list of errands that must be done.  Suddenly I run in to P who seems to have all the time in the world.  She wants to chat.  I explain that I am in a hurry.  I act very interested in her plan to meet later in the week.  Inside, I am furious that I can’t just tell her that I have no interest at all in getting together.  I am repulsed by what I view as her laziness.  But I witness myself giving her a big, friendly hug and saying that I will see her later in the week.  Here is an example of actions that are not in sync with what is in the mind and in the heart.

According to the Avatar of the Age, Guru Sathya Sai Baba, “One’s actions determine one’s future.  Actions are of three kinds:  Thoughts are one kind, giving expression to them is another. Acting according to one’s word is the third.  The mind is responsible for the thoughts, the tongue for the speech and the hands for the actions.”

What I could have done was simply speak the truth.  Instead, I carried P’s idea to meet later in the week around, like a rock, inside myself, wondering how I would handle the situation.

“The combination of thought, word and deed represents the human state,” Swami Sai told His devotees.   “These three account for man’s pleasures and pain.  Recognizing this, one should understand that he is accountable for his actions.  No one can escape from the consequences of his deeds.”

 On contemplating Swami’s words, I realize that I am going to continue to suffer the consequences of my actions regarding P, if I do not explain my actions. When I ring her up, she accepts my words.  In fact, she thanks me for being honest. What a relief.

Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba emphasized, “But anything can be achieved through God’s grace.  Hence man should strive to win God’s grace.  The result of one’s actions is realized over three different periods of time.  In some cases, the results are immediate, as, for instance, when one slips and sustains a fall.  In some cases, the results occur after a few minutes or hours.  For example, the food you take in the morning is digested after two hours.  When you sow a seed in the ground, it takes some months or years to grow into a tree and yield fruits.”

Sai Baba was direct, “Some fools imagine that they can get away with bad deeds because the consequences are not immediate.  But the consequences are bound to occur some time or other….  People who may have done no actions of any kind in their present lives may still suffer from the consequences of their actions in previous lives.”

Obviously, I knew P in ages past and never was able to be honest with her.  Mercifully, in this lifetime, by the Grace of my Guru, I let go of the need to be false with her.

SATHYA SAI BABA LEAVES HIS BODY

The Eternal dissolves into Eternity

It was April 24, 2011, about 10:30 a.m. on an overcast but hot day when I heard the news that my beloved guru, Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba had left his body. For me, it marked the beginning of the Golden Age. He had always said that his mission was to transform people so that they would love and serve each other and violence would become obsolete.  I felt he had instilled his teachings in the hearts of his devotees and as a result his mission would continue through them.  

He had been in the hospital for many days and devotees waited around the clock for reports on his condition. I was standing in his Andhra Pradesh ashram, Prasanthi Nilayam, when it was announced that Swami had left his body and entered Maha Samadhi (the conscious departure from the physical body of a realized soul, and the shrine where the physical body is buried). Like millions of his devotees, I accepted the will of the God I believe him to be.  I watched as some people dropped quiet tears and many expressed disbelief. My heart swelled with gratitude that I had been graced to live in his physical presence for 21 years. He had not only saved my life; he had given me a life.  He is locked deep in my heart, alive and well.

The fact that it was Easter Sunday made me smile.  Swami always had a sense of the comic, no matter how serious the occasion.  And now, as the world was celebrating the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, Swami’s form was exiting.

Sai Baba’s teachings are simple and esoteric all at once.  He taught that we are all one, in fact, that we are all God.  He insisted that there was only one caste, the caste of humanity, and that there was only one religion, the religion of love.  He began most discourses with the words, “Embodiments of Love.” 

Born Sathyanarayana Raju on November 23, 1926 in the village of Puttaparthi, at 14, he announced that he was an avatar, God in human form, and the reincarnation of Shirdi Sai Baba.  In that year he began his mission: To restore righteousness in a world gone astray.  He taught, “This Sai has come in order to achieve the supreme task of uniting the entire mankind as one family through the bond of brotherhood, of affirming and illuminating the Atmic Reality (The Divine Self) of each being, to reveal the Divine which is the basis on which the entire cosmos rests, and of instructing all to recognize the common Divine Heritage that binds man to man, so that man can rid himself of the animal and rise up to the Divine, which is the goal.”

According to reports, he performed many miracles—from the unimaginable to the seemingly trivial — such as healing the sick and manifesting trinkets to make his devotees happy, he said. He predicted that “No one will fully understand my powers.” However, not only his devotees but skeptics and scientists have tried.

Many people have attempted to convince others that he is, in fact, evil. All this talk about him, negative and positive, did not seem to interest him. He simply carried on his mission.

Even his detractors often recognize his humanitarian contributions. Meantime, Radio Sai Global Harmony reports: “His numerous service projects, be it free hospitals, free schools and colleges, free drinking water supply projects, or free housing projects, all stand testimony to His selfless love and compassion for the needy and less privileged. True to His declaration, “My Life is My Message,” He has inspired and continues in his subtle form to inspire millions of His devotees worldwide by His personal example to live the ideal that “Service to man is service to God.” 

So what will happen now that our Beloved Baba is no longer with us in human form?  I believe his mission will continue; his devotees will carry on as he instructed.  For instance, the worldwide Sri Sathya Sai Seva Organization will undertake service activities that will benefit their communities.  Individual devotees will carry on their own service projects.  I, for one, will continue the work Baba wanted me to do: Communicating his love to those who are unloved, bringing hope to those who are hopeless, and leading the afflicted out of their pain.

Thousands of books have been written about his many miracles by people from every religion and walk of life.  Of his miracles he said, “I give you what you want, so that you will want what I have to give—mainly liberation itself.”

According to some of his devotees, the best way to experience Sai Baba is to privately ask him, from your heart, to reveal to you who he is.  Then you can come to your own conclusions.

But it is declared by his followers that Sai Baba walked among us to teach us that we too can become a Jesus, a Buddha, or a Mohammed.  We are, he consistently pointed out, God too—only we have not yet become aware of this fact.

My editor at Deccan Herald, Bangalore, India office, requested this article from me on April 24, 2011 the day Sai Baba discarded his body.  With a few modifications, it appeared early the next morning just as you have read it here. 

Who Is Sai Baba? Concluding Part 3

Due to all the villagers that couldn’t wait to come and see the baby, Sri Pedda Venkappa Raju requested that non-vegetarian foods be prepared for a celebratory lunch.  He wanted the mixed community to be happy and fully enjoy the foods they liked.  Mother Eswaramma prepared a variety of non-vegetarian foods but when she went to serve the guests all the meat dishes were turned into vegetarian dishes! The guests were in awe of an event they could not understand.  They, of course, did not realize who this baby was. As it later came to be revealed, Sathya would never tolerate the raising of animals for butchering and eating.  To him, an animal was a precious being to be loved and allowed to live out its own destiny. 

The ladies of the village could not get enough of the charming baby.  They visited the Raju household every chance they got.  Even the men collected at the home to play with him.  He delighted everyone including other children.

One pious woman, Subbamma, the wife of the village head, Lakshminarayana Rao, adored baby Sathya.  She was childless and Sathya would run to her the minute he heard her voice.  This gave Subbamma great comfort and joy. Before long it became obvious that the child had adopted her as his foster mother. She was childless no more as little Sathya’s many playmates would gather at her house and partake of the sweets and savories she served them.  But she herself would feed Sathya with her own hand.  On a particular day when she was serving him her pakoras (fried savories) she also offered him some water.  She said, “Open your mouth, Sathya, I will pour water.  When he opened his mouth, Subbamma could see the entire universe inside in all its cosmic splendor.  At the site of this, she fell into ecstasy and she bowed at his feet, clinging to them and washing them with tears of joy.  Subbamma knew now that her Sathya was no ordinary child. She realized that he was the Lord God Incarnate and she fell into ecstasy.  Her bliss lasted for many days.

Indeed, the villagers observed that their new resident was a rare child.  He only wanted to make others happy; he never asked for anything; and he was content with whatever he was given.  However, he would never eat non-vegetarian food; so in order not to disrupt his immediate family, Sathya decided to take his meals at his paternal grandfather’s house because Kondama Raju believed in the Divinity of his grandson and non-vegetarian food was never served to him.

Grandfather Raju understood that the child would never hurt animals and disliked any kind of violence.  In fact, Sathya would run and save chickens from being butchered whenever he could. He petted dogs and consoled them whenever they were abused.  His days were filled with loving service to the members of his family and the village society he lived in.  When it came time for him to enter school, he walked to Bukkha Patnam—about eight kilometers away— returned home to prepare food for his grandfather who he enjoyed cooking for, and then went back to school again. Later, Sathya was sent to the village of Uravakonda to live with his brother who was a teacher.  The parents thought Sathya was old enough for further studies.

But on March 8, 1940, when he was 14, Sathya was stung by a scorpion.  Suddenly, he lost consciousness for several hours.  When he regained consciousness, he exhibited strange behavior which continued for the next few days.  He alternated between laughing and weeping, speaking eloquently then falling silent. He began to sing verses in Sanskrit, a language of which he had no prior knowledge. Doctors believed his actions were caused by hysteria.   His parents didn’t know what to think. They brought Sathya back to Puttaparthi. But his family and others noticed that the scorpion sting had changed him. He seemed removed from them, as if in deep meditation.  More and more he withdrew into himself and ignored those around him.  Where had the vivacious, charming Sathya gone? There were whispers that he had become possessed by a Muslim ghost.

In fact, in his most recent past life Sathya had been Sai Baba of Shirdi, a Muslim God man, who had devotees who were Hindus as well as Muslims. Shirdi Sai Baba had left his body eight years before Sathya’s birth.  Perhaps none in Puttaparthi knew this. But many of those who had prophesized the birth of Sathya Sai Baba, including Nostradamus and the Prophet Mohammed, did predict the descent of the Lord God on earth at this point in time. And, respectively, they described his physical attributes and the work he would do.

After the scorpion sting, Sathya’s parents thought that he might have gone mad, or was possessed by a demon.  Various “remedies” were employed, one such being the burning of his skull with a branding-iron like tool by an exorcist in Kadiri. But Sathya was unmoved. He withstood the pain with patience and no complaint. 

On May 23, 1940 he came out of his inward state and gathered the people around him.  Back to his charming, outgoing self, he began materializing objects out to the delight of all who sat in front of him. Seeing his son behaving like a magician, Sathya’s father became infuriated and demanded, “Who do you think you are?  If you don’t answer, I shall hit you! Come out with it—are you possessed, a lunatic, an incarnation, a deity or a devil? Who are you?” 

Sathya replied calmly, “Do you not know who I am? I am Sai Baba. I descended because the Venkavadhoota (the family saint of the Raju family) prayed for my descent.” The Lord’s reply was firm and deliberate. The ring of truth in it was unmistakable. He kept on muttering to himself throughout that day, talking about his code of conduct and his lineage—“Apastamba Sutra, Bharadwaja Gotra,”

Meantime, Sri Pedda Venkappa Raju did not accept his son’s story.  He felt that the boy was still possessed by the spirit of the Muslim saint who, it had been deduced, was none other than Sai Baba of Shirdi. So the distraught father took action.  He believed that a Muslim priest’s intercession could cure Sathya so he found such a priest in Penukonda, a village several kilometers away from Puttaparthi.  Sri Pedda Venkappa Raju took Sathya there and requested the Muslim priest to exorcise his son.  The priest, who happened to be a Government official, declared Sathya a “lunatic”.

 “Lunacy it is, but whose?” Sathya demanded waving is hands in the air and producing sacred ash (vibhuti) which he scattered all over the room.  Back in Puttaparthi Sathya still maintained that he was Sai Baba. On the following Thursday, the 30th of May 1940, Sathya’s exasperated father asked his son to give some proof of his claim and Sathya consented. It being a Thursday, Guruvaram, the day for worshipping the guru, Sathya asked that jasmine flowers be gathered and piled up for ritual prayers (puja). When this was done, he asked for the flowers to be placed in his opened, empty hands. He then scattered the fragrant small white flowers casually, and they began to form the shape of the Telugu letters representing “SAI BABA”. The power of this written name moved everybody, including his father, and they were convinced that he was who he said he was, Sai Baba—Mother-Father God. In fact Sri Sathya Sai Baba is a Triple Avatar—Shirdi Sai Baba, Sathya Sai Baba, and Prema Sai Baba, the latter still to be born.

Once he announced that he was Sai Baba, he persisted in saying that he was on the earth to transform the wicked and to usher in a Golden Age.  He explained that he had come in answer to the prayers of saints and sages. Finally, the young Sathya went off to live alone and apart from his family to whom he declared he no longer belonged.  Now, he said, he belonged to everyone and he began his work of uplifting the world.  His paternal grandfather and one of his early school teachers were among his first devotees. 

The population then was allegedly less than 100 residents. Now, it is in the thousands.  People from all over the world have made it their permanent home because they want to be in the atmosphere of Divinity. 

Who Is Sai Baba? Part 2

It was only after I got off the phone that I realized what had happened.  Sai Baba had answered my request by providing me with enough money to buy a good used car.  But I still could not believe he was God.  Nevertheless, I took the check to the bank and, after cashing it, went to a good used car dealership in nearby El Toro, and bought a bizarrely bright orange 1975 Chevrolet Citation.  Actually, I felt as if I was pulled towards that car parked way in the back of the lot.  Beams of morning sunlight were bouncing off it as I headed toward it.  The salesman was eager to show me other late-models and more expensive vehicles.  However, the weird persimmon color car that I ordinarily would never have been attracted to, just kept me fascinated.  Although it was 15 years old, it looked like it had never been driven before and the original interior was fresh as new.  In a daze, I agreed to buy it, registered it, and drove it off the lot. 

I felt like I’d been given wings. On the way home I realized the whole initial transaction had cost me exactly $1200, the amount of the check—even that was a miracle in high-priced Orange County. After getting my job I had to make two more payments because the car was priced at $2,700.  But the fact that the dealership gave me, a person with zero money in the bank, zero plastic, and a minimum-wage job, credit is also inconceivable.  But there I was, behind the wheel of a well-maintained car on my way to the biggest adventure of my life.

By now, I had read the book, The Ultimate Experience exactly four times looking for “mistakes”, ways to prove that the author was a fraud and that nothing she wrote could be true about God walking on the earth in the remote village of Puttaparthi in South India.  So when I got back to my apartment I decided to read this book once more.  I was determined to understand how this phenomenon of asking Sai Baba for a car and getting a check from a woman who claimed God had told her to send me money had happened.  I immediately went to the table where the book was.  I picked it up and opened it.  Before I could read a word a photo tumbled out of the pages.

I had not placed any photo in the book. What is going on?  I wondered.  The photo had fallen on to the floor backside up.  I reached down, picked up the picture and turned it over.  I was shocked!  It was a photo of Sai Baba standing beside the car I had just purchased.  

As I stood there in the middle of my flat holding the picture of Sai Baba beside my 1975 Chevrolet Citation (a car most likely never manufactured or sold in India), I began to shake with the magnitude of my discovery.  I knew then that he was definitely God and I fell to my knees and wept.  I cried with joy and with relief.  Suddenly, becoming aware of the fact that the nebulous God I’d been yearning to believe in all of my life was actually here on Planet Earth filled me with humility, with wonder, and with ineffable emotions.

When I went next door and told N what had happened she coolly said, “Sometimes Baba gives a second miracle if you doubt the first one.”  That was me, Doubting Terry.

Before long, I sold nearly all my possessions to help finance my trip to see him.  I put a few things in storage, again,  took leave from work, gave a poetry reading for the Laguna Poets who paid me $500 US dollars, and before I knew it I was off to India. That was 23 years ago. I am still in awe.  And I am still in India!

A SHORT STORY OF SATHYA SAI BABA OF INDIA

For His Eminence Tso Ser Thri Rinpoche who I had the great good fortune to teach English to while he visited Puttaparthi on several occasions and who asked me to write a story for him explaining who Sathya Sai Baba is.

Sathya Sai Baba is a Poorna Avatar.  In Hinduism, a Poorna Avatar is the full embodiment of all that is—God, or Absolute Consciousness, as some call It.  An Avatar is omniscient, omnipotent, and omnipresent, can turn sky into earth and earth into sky. The Avatar comes from time to time in answer to the prayers of saints and holy persons; the Divine Incarnation takes the form of a human being in order to walk among us to uplift, comfort, heal, and most importantly perhaps to transform. Lord Buddha was an Avatar, as was Lord Jesus. The main purpose, therefore of Absolute Consciousness taking a body and coming to earth, is to minister to suffering humanity.

Bhagawan Sri Sathya Sai Baba walked the earth for 85 years and outwardly appeared to be a mere human.  However, multitudes experienced his divine powers and claimed him as their Guru and their God. 

And though he left his body on April 24, of 2011, according to his followers, he never left his devotees and his mission continues.  Crowds from all over the world still throng to Puttaparthi to take darshan (to see God) at his Mahasamadhi where his body was laid to rest.  This tomb is engraved with the essence of his teaching, “Love all.  Serve all.” The words Sai Baba mean: “Mother-Father God.”  It is said, that as a mother, he loves unconditionally and as a father, he punishes when necessary. 

Historically, God has incarnated in many forms before. In this Incarnation, as Sathya Sai Baba of Puttaparthi, The Lord was born Sathyanarayana Raju, into a Hindu, Telugu-speaking family on November 23, 1926.  The once rural village of Puttaparthi where the divine birth took place is located in Anantapur District in the state of Andhra Pradesh, South India.  It lies in a desert-like valley surrounded by rocky hills and mountains. At the time of Sai Baba’s birth, tigers dwelled in the caves of the mountains and scorpions, cobras, and stinging red ants were plentiful.  A beautiful, fresh river, Chittravathi, ran through the village and cool breezes swept across the golden sands of the river.

When his mother Eswaramma was pregnant with him, many mysterious events occurred.  For instance, during the nights musical instruments, particularly the maddala and tambura, could be heard throughout the village.  They played on their own in synchronicity and harmony, beginning and stopping as if on cue. Rumors spread as people speculated on the cause.  There was gossip that the unborn child could be heard talking in the womb.

The father, Sri Pedda Venkappa Raju, baffled by these inexplicable events, went to the nearby village of Bukka Patnam to consult with an astrologer whose divinations he trusted.  When asked why such mysterious things were occurring, the astrologer replied, “It is due to the power of the Divine. These happenings make the people happy.”  Sri Pedda Venkappa Raju could not have imagined then how many millions of people, decades later, would be made happy hearing stories about the events preceding Sathya Sai Baba’s birth.  Nor could the young father have known that millions of persons of all religions and from all around the world would be worshipping his son as God Almighty. 

Not long after consulting the astrologer, on November 23, 1926, a Monday, the Divine Incarnation was born. His mother, Eswaramma, had an easy delivery and the family was thrilled to behold the beauty of the baby. It was the month of Karthika, the month of Lord Shiva. The parents named the boy Sathyanaraya because they were devoted to Lord Sathyanarayana and they believed that this Deity was responsible for granting Eswaramma her wish to have another son.  The baby, who had an older brother and sister when he arrived, was called Sathya, which means Truth.

Sri Aurobindo in his book, Sri Aurobindo on Himself and the Mother, wrote: "November 24, 1926, was the descent of Krishna (One of Sathya Sai Baba’s former Incarnations) into the physical. A power infallible shall lead the thought and earthly hearts kindle the Immortal's Fire.  Even the multitude shall hear the voice."

It happened that Sri Aurobindo was in a meditative trance during the birth of Sathya Sai Baba.  But on the 24th the Pondicherry Master came out of the trance to tell his devotees the news.

More mysteries and paranormal experiences occurred soon after the re-born Krishna’s arrival.  One day little Sathya was sleeping on a mat on the floor.  His mother sat beside him.  Suddenly the baby’s mat began rocking; it was being raised and lowered by something underneath.  The mat was lifted up very slowly and those present were astonished to see that the rocking was being done by a cobra.  The snake vanished instantaneously into thin air as soon as the mat was lifted.

To be continued….

Who Is Sai Baba? Part 1

The first time I saw a picture of Sai Baba in 1990 on the dashboard of a pick-up truck in Laguna Beach, California, I thought he looked like a New Zealand Maori.  I said, “Who is that?”   J, the owner of the pick-up and the manager of the apartment building where I’d just rented, said, “He’s Sai Baba.”

On hearing the words, Sai Baba, I nearly fell down onto the ground hit by the force of what I can only describe as a kick to my heart!  It was not a slap.  It was not a punch.  It was a full on forceful Karate kick! Struggling to hold back the flood of feelings that were suddenly welling up inside me, I demanded, “What is he?” You see, I realized that something unseen and superhuman had produced that kick which had knocked the breath out of my lungs.  And, I knew that whatever that Force was it had radiated from the picture on the dashboard.   J replied, “He’s an Avatar.” 

Ouch! In my vanity, I didn’t want this new acquaintance to suspect that I had no idea what the word Avatar meant.  After all, I had only recently handed over my apartment-rental agreement stating, for the record, that I was practically a genius—an adjunct professor of English, a world-traveled journalist, a published poet.  How could I suddenly admit that I was uninformed?  I couldn’t.  So I just kept quiet.

As soon as I could, though, I looked in my unabridged dictionary.  Avatar, according to Webster, is the concept in Hinduism of God coming to earth and taking a human form. Whew!  I felt relieved.  The drums of Hinduism were miles away from Cliff Drive.  You had to cross continents and oceans to really feel their beat.  They couldn’t influence independent-thinking me! What a fool I was. I only needed to walk past the Indian restaurant in the nearby Hari Krishna Temple to smell the curry changes on the wind.

Almost immediately after seeing his photo, I began obsessing about Sai Baba, about the Avatar concept, and about being kicked in the heart.   Eventually, I embarked on learning more about him.  At first J, a former California Highway Patrol officer, and his Hindu wife, N, didn’t seem to want to discuss Sai Baba. We could talk about gardening, cooking, politics, the weather, any subject, in fact, except the Avatar.  I found this odd.  In retrospect, maybe they didn’t want to be thought of as proselytizing. Then one day, N took pity on me.  She gave me a copy of a book about Sai Baba, The Ultimate Experience, by an English psychotherapist, Phyllis Krystal.  The more I read, the more I doubted.

But, paradoxically, as I read and re-read The Ultimate Experience, looking for the propaganda, experiencing the writing with my poet’s intuition and analyzing it with my investigative journalist’s mind, I realized that Phyllis Krystal was sincere, credible and that she believed Sai Baba, her Guru,  was  God.  Now I felt the urge to investigate the authenticity of Sai Baba for myself. 

First I asked N if she thought he was God.  She said, “Yes.” Aha!  But, of course, she is a Hindu.  Then I asked her if her husband also believed Sai Baba was God.  An ex-cop wouldn’t be tricked by a scam, I reasoned.  She also said, “Yes.”  In this split second I could actually feel my mind opening.  I had been accustomed to the idea that God was omnipresent, omniscient, and omnipotent.  So, I reasoned that God being God, could do anything—which included taking on the form of an Indian man and living in India.  Apparently, N sensed a shift in my energy field; the resistance was lifting. She looked me straight in the eyes and suggested that I go ahead and test Sai Baba’s divinity myself.  

She smiled so sweetly and said, “Just talk to him like you are talking to me.”

Right after I left her I entered my adjacent apartment.  I locked the door from inside and I sat down on the bedroom carpet next to a small table where I kept a candle and an incense holder.  I had been a consistent meditator for nearly 20 years.  Over those years I had felt I had made many contacts with God who I had perceived as a kind of ethereal Holy Spirit, and, yes, very far away from me.  But today I felt different.  I kept my eyes open and  I began conversing with Sai Baba as if he were physically there beside me.  I had the help being able to stare at a small photo that N had given to me.  It was a picture of him in a meditation-like pose. God meditating?  Hummm. I did wonder about that.

 Nevertheless, I felt very excited by this Kick-me-in-the-heart Afro haired “guy”.  Prior to doing this secret testing,  I had asked N why, if Sai Baba was God and I had been praying to God for lifetimes, perhaps, and not feeling as if my prayers were necessarily answered, how was praying to him now, in this Hindu Avatar form going to benefit me?  N admitted that she didn’t know how it worked.  “It’s a mystery,” she said. But she assured me that I would get an answer.

And I did!  I knew exactly what to ask for.  I had just gotten back form an 18-month fellowship to Australia to study and report on  the writers and the writing scene there for Sand Script Magazine, a Cape Cod, Massachusetts literary journal published by Barbara Dunning; and I needed a car in order to get a good teaching job nearby.  I had sold my old Ford Fiesta before leaving in order to have extra cash.  I knew from experience that California bus routes were not very efficient for getting travelers to and from nearby places.  For example, if I wanted excellent paying jobs teaching English  they were waiting for me at community colleges only 30 and 35 miles away.  But the bus trips would take three and four hours—one way! Meantime, there were no return buses at the late hour I’d be traveling back to Laguna Beach. So, I saw a car as my first priority. 

I decided to “test” Sai Baba’s powers by asking him for a car.  It now seems ridiculous, asking God for a car when you could ask for something really spiritually significant, like Liberation itself.  Obviously,  I was not as  informed about divine matters in those days, as I had led myself to belief.  I didn’t even pray.  I remember saying to Sai Baba, “If you are really God, then show me that you are by getting me a car.” How egomaniacal it now sounds.

On the other hand, I was sincere while I was speaking and strangely frightened at the same time. In fact, I observed that my manner was child-like.  I felt shy and awkward.  My grown-up self warned that maybe I was playing with fire.  I had been raised a strict Catholic and my idea of God then was a far-off Entity, so far off, in fact, that I couldn’t even conjure up an image.  Meanwhile, the picture I had of Jesus in my mind came from years of indoctrination that he was the only “begotten” son of God.  Sadly, my Jesus image was covered with so much blood and suffering that I didn’t really want to look at it. As a kid I used to think, if God put his own son through so much torture I certainly don’t’ stand a chance.  What’s more, we were taught that we were so full of sin that we had to go to confession once a week.  Yet, at the same time we were told that Jesus had redeemed us by suffering and dying for us on the cross.  It was all too frightening and confusing for me.  So, basically, over the years I became a respecter of all religions but a practitioner of none.

Nothing religious or spiritual that  I had ever experienced over my lifetime including living with Native Americans, participating in their sweats and medicine dances, had  prepared me for the possibility that God, in 1990, could be a 64-year-old, small-boned, 108-pound, Indian man with jet-black, bushy, African-type hair.  But here I was, sitting cross-legged on the floor of my bedroom, speaking to that very image.  I was talking to Sai Baba just as if I were speaking to you.  When I finished I got up, left the apartment, and walked down to the beach to watch the sun set. 

Within three days I received a greeting card in the mail.  I have no recollection of registering my new address at the Post Office.  But the card was addressed to my new flat!  I was stunned.  When I opened the card I saw it was from an elder woman, L, whose home I had stayed at for a few days on arriving back in Laguna Beach and who I had been very close to for a few years.  I used to take her shopping, to the bank, or out to lunch, as I lived near her and she had difficulty getting around.  I liked her company very much and enjoyed inviting her to go out with me—not  as any volunteer service for the old, for I thought of her as a very dear and savvy friend.  L talked about God a good deal of our time together; and she was herself a disciplined daily meditator.  In fact, we had met each other in a group, The Infinite Way, based on the writings of Joel Goldsmith, a mystic, Vedanta teacher, and healer.

Well, anyhow, the card was from her and it said, “Thank you for being such a wonderful person.”  Enclosed in the card was a check for $1200 US dollars!  I was very pleased but didn’t connect it to my “prayer” to Sai Baba.  I called L right away and told her I knew she was not a wealthy woman and that I could not accept her gift.  She protested when I insisted that I must return the check.

In fact, she scolded me and told me that I had to keep it because a couple of nights before, while she was meditating, God spoke to her and told her to give me the money because I needed it.  “I told him I didn’t want to give you the money,” she admitted.  “But he said I had to.  He told me the amount to give you too.  That’s why I can’t take it back,” she said.  “I’m just doing what God has told me to do.”

To be continued...